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Asking questions about a person [Tarot dos and don’ts]

    Sometimes you want to know what another person thinks about you. Maybe you want to understand what your ex thinks about you or what your toxic boss is up to next. But is it ok to ask the tarot about other people?

    54% of tarot readers ask questions about others. On ethical grounds, it advised not to ask questions about another person as you intrude in their psychic space; you violate their privacy rights.

    It can be tempting to ask the tarot about another person; we are human, after all. But is it ethical to do so? After all, we are intruding on someone’s psychic space without them knowing. Let’s discuss the situation in depth, so you can make a knowledgeable decision about what you want to do in your reading practice.


    Your emotions are raging; you just want to know what a person thinks or feels about you. But is it ok to do so? The person in question has not allowed you to enter their psychic space.

    It is important to remember that a tarot is a powerful tool that should not be misused. With power comes responsibility.

    A three-card tarot spread with flowers in the corner.

    As there are no set rules regarding the tarot, you have to make up your own decisions on what is ok or not – if you ask questions about another person.

    I recommend creating ethical rules, preferably in writing, and that you stick with them. It’s easy to find yourself astray when the emotions start pumping.

    Let’s look a bit closer at the dos and don’ts of asking questions about another person.


    My recommendation is always to stay away from third-party questions. As a professional tarot reader, I always consider morals and ethics my guiding star.

    When you ask for insights into another person’s mind, you violate their privacy. You are also launching a psychic attack as you forcefully access their subconscious mind.

    It is also good to remember that intruding on their psychic space without permission negatively affects your vibrational state.

    When you have a lower vibrational state, you are more likely to suffer psychic attacks. It is a vicious circle.

    Of course, it is always up to you to decide what is best for you. We all approach tarot from unique angles, and nothing is ultimately right or wrong. But I think the saying “do to others as you wish they would do to you” stands out in this context.

    I think the saying “do to others as you wish they would do to you” stands out in this context.

    Sandra Törnroth


    As there are no rules regarding tarot, I wanted to poll fellow tarot readers. Do they ask about other people in their readings?

    I polled a Facebook group to see what they said about asking questions about others. The answer was very interesting. 54% said they asked questions about other people, 16% said they didn’t, and 29% that they did so at times.

    1% answered strange things as I forgot to block users from adding their own alternatives.

    Only 16% followed the guidelines that I learned in my tarot education. When I talk to fellow professional readers, most agree with not allowing third-party questions as it weakens the spiritual strength of the reader or receiver.

    Screen dump from Facebook
    Do you ask the tarot about other people?%
    25 tarot readers answered the poll in total

    My final exam to become a trusted tarot advisor was mainly about asking empowering questions and avoiding third-party questions.

    Many of those who answered are not professional readers but read the cards for themselves. I think that many of us start this way; we want to know what is in the future for us or what others think of us.

    Getting caught up in your feelings is very easy when you are new to tarot. When you are emotional, you seldom do. It is not very helpful, as you can’t change anyone but yourself.

    As you grow as a reader, you learn that knowing how to change a situation is far more powerful than knowing what others think or are about to do.

    As the future is not set in stone but shifts due to our free will, your answers when asking about outcomes are often very short-lived. As soon as someone makes a decision, the outcome change.


    How do you ask questions about your relationship without violating the private psychic space of your partner? If you shouldn’t ask about others, how do you get empowering tarot readings?

    As you can’t change another person, the most empowering questions are those that help you make the best of a situation.

    A three-card spread with flowers in the upper part of the photo.

    Create questions about what you can do to make the relationship better. If you ask about the relationship status, I bet it is not roses and sunshine.

    Please avoid yes or no questions, as they will not give you information on how to change anything.

    For example: Is he going to leave me? First, it’s about what another person will do, and you are violating their psychic space by accessing those answers. Secondly, you have no idea how to improve the situation by getting a yes or no.

    It is more fruitful to ask open-ended questions as they give you information that helps self-improvement. If the tarot says, for example, that you might benefit from being more open in your relationship – you have a chance to fix things before it ends in catastrophe.

    Open-ended question starts with the following words or phrases:

    • Why
    • What
    • Who
    • How


    Empowering questions are open-ended questions that will give you insights that empower you. Start your question with what, why, who, or how.

    Stay away from yes and no questions, as they don’t give you insights into what you can do to change a situation.

    So, instead of asking what someone feels or is going to do, ask questions about what you can do to improve things.

    Below, you will find examples of empowering questions to ask in your relationship tarot reading.

    • What can I do to want him to stay?
    • What can I do to solve the situation?
    • What personality trait in me caused this situation?
    • What do I need to work on…
    • What will the experience be if I do…
    • Why is this happening?
    • How to improve…
    • How do I attract…
    • How do I make him love me again?


    I know how hard it can be to ask empowering questions. You want to know what someone else thinks or what will happen.

    The thing is that even if you can get those answers, they do not help change things for the better.

    When you ask open-ended questions and not about another person, you get the best answers you can get. You now have the tools to change the situation.

    Asking about another person is also not beneficial as it might negatively impact your vibrational state. You are, in fact, launching a psychic attack toward the person you are asking questions about.

    So, even if it can feel hard at times not knowing the outcome of things, it is the for the best. When you have such a powerful tool as tarot at your disposal – you need to handle it with care and use it ethically.

    As we talk about what to ask the tarot in this article, you might benefit from the article Is Tarot Safe where we discuss different kinds of tarot reading styles.

    Sandra Törnroth

    Intuitive multi-modal tarot reader with a love for crystals and everything esoteric


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